CVS is a terrorist supply chain

I want everyone who owns or sells hydrogen peroxide rounded up and thrown in prison. Owning hydrogen peroxide now warrants a charge of "carrying explosives," according to the BBC. That's why I haven't felt safe these last few years! I've had explosives in my bathroom this whole time. Now that I've thrown it out, maybe that nervous tic will finally go away. I don't know what I'm going to do if I get a cut, but I sure feel safer. Do you think Neosporin is safe? Or iodine? I'd better get rid of those too. I'll just call Homeland Security and tell them I'm not a terrorist anymore, now that I've thrown out all of my medicine cabinet explosive devices. I'm sure they'll be glad to know that they can mark me off the list. One more catastrophe averted.

Go back to sleep, sheeple.