SAD

I think I am suffering from Seasonal Affective Disorder or maybe just the Holiday blues. Who knows. Everything just seems to suck recently. I don't know if it is because I am alone for the holidays, or because a new year is about to start, or if the fact that I just turned 25 is just setting in. It's not that I am old. It is just that I haven't done what I wanted to do with my life. Every year is a reminder that I still haven't finished college, I don't have a career like I wanted, I don't have children, etc.

I feel like my life has come to a complete standstill since my husband joined the military. At first, I was fine with the idea of sacrificing any semblance of a real life while he was in. But, originally, I figured it would be a four year sacrifice. Then, because of his job, it turned into a 6 year commitment. But, bing bang boom, fast forward a few years, and it turned into nearly a 10 year commitment. So, by the time I will be free from this, I will be 32. I don't want to put off my life until my thirties. I just want a life and a house (that I don't have to move away from after a few years) and things that other people take for granted.

On top of it being the holidays, I am getting ready to move...again. We will be hopefully be moving in a new place (across town) at the end of January. I have been at this place for a year and a half. We will be at the new place for a year and a half. (All in all, this will be the longest time I have lived in one city probably since I first left home for college.) Then, we will up and move again. Of course, the next time will be in a new state, possibly on the other side of the country where we will be for a few years and then up and move again.

I really hope that I get out of this funk for all of your sakes. I know that most people couldn't care less about any of this.
But, I am SAD.